Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A List

I'm taking a brief break from the fun 4th of July festivities posts (there are more to come).

I need to take a moment to purge.  To dump horrible thoughts from my mind, to cleanse my spirit, and be a therapeutic outlet.  And what better place to do it then through the written word.  My written word.  From my little corner of the world.

So.  You know what I hate?  I'll give you a list.

Number 1:
Fake people.

Number 2:
People who want to act like they are your friend when it is convenient for them - when they can get something from you - or when they think it (for some reason) makes them look good.

Number 3:
People who are completely self-centered and as such, clearly not the people you thought they were when you became friends in the first place.

Number 4:
People who swear up and down that they are your friend - who end up talking smack about you behind your back.  Seriously?  That is SO 7th grade.  Time to grow up. 

Number 5:
People who think so little of you that they purposefully don't include you in the important events in their life - even though you bend over backwards to do the 'right' thing for them - at all cost, time, and expense.  Who you try your best to teach your children to remember at important times - but who don't take the time or effort to reciprocate.

Number 6:
People who you relied on to be a pillar of strength and support - who you confided in, trusted in, believed in - who end up being hurtful, selfish, and anything but.

Number 7:
People who your children came to love and trust - who ended up hurting them by not following through with promises, ignoring them during said child's important times, and completely forgetting that they were (at one time) someone who they looked up to.  And by the way - I loathe this item the most.  I can deal with betrayal.  I can deal with fickle people.  Lord knows I've been down that road before.  I'm an adult.  I can handle it.  It hurts, yes.  Tremendously at times.  But when you hurt my child?  That's a completely different story.  I may be the idiot who forgives and tries their best to forget - only to be disappointed and hurt time and time again.  But you only get one shot with my kids.   Hurt them once or disappoint them once and you're done.  GAME OVER.

Makes me wonder sometimes - am I just that bad of a judge of character?  That I willingly put my trust and faith - and that of my children - in people who are just - oh, I don't know the word - a complete and utter disappointment?

I'm so over this.  And in a strange way - it kind of feels good.  I've done my best to try to be the better person, to do the right thing, to hold my head up - ignore the wretched behavior and move on.  All the while, hurting inside and being so disappointed that I cared so deeply about something that was, in all truth, something so fake. 

But I'm done.  I've given all I can give - all I WILL give.  I'm done keeping up fake pretences for the sake of being polite.  Yeah - it's safe to say - I'm pretty pissed off.  But you know what?  That's a much better emotion to feel then the constant sadness that comes from disappointment.
Liberating relief.

1 comment:

  1. tell it girl!! (wait a minute... have i made any promises & not kept them?)