Monday, July 18, 2011

Did Someone Say Cheese-steak?

So.  The News.  The topic of many late-night discussions, sleepless nights, festering, and angst.

Long story short - things are not going to change for our family in the near future.  Status Quo seems to be the phrase of the season 'round our house.

Longer story - in cryptic terms - because I'm still not authorized to go into much detail on a public forum - is that yet again, D had an opportunity to advance his career.  What seemed like a golden opportunity.  The kind of thing that comes along once in a career.

A good friend asked me is this A job or THE job.  To which I could easily answer, THE job.

So he went through the process - discussions on the phone (several of them), flew up to meet with the heads of the company (heck - even got a snazzy new suit for said meeting) and loved it.  All of it.  The potential city of relocation, the opportunities presented during the discussions, and came away thinking we would soon be packing our bags.

However, it wasn't meant to be.  For a weird turn of events occurred - and for reasons I can't explain (and honestly don't understand) - it didn't work out.

End of story.

For now.

But D.  He is SO disappointed.  Not in himself - this company narrowed down candidates from all over the country in a struggling economy (above the loads of engineers that are all vying and competing for the same positions) to him.  Disappointed, rather that he isn't moving along in his career and has to remain in his current position.

I wish I could explain more - but I can't.  All I can say is that for the first time, I'm worried.  I'm REALLY worried about my husband.  He's SO down.  His current position is aging him.  It's causing him to have health problems.  He's extremely over worked.  And grossly underpaid. 

And more importantly, he's lost his smile. He doesn't find joy in the things he used to - like playing with our children, visiting with friends, or even the simplest of things like grilling outside with a cold beer in his hand.

And that worries me.

But what makes me mad (and protective - after all - my husband is my best friend - hurt him and you hurt me - and that whole defensive-mama-bear in me rears her ugly head) - are the insensitive comments he's received since this all started.  So to all of the people out there (who shall remain nameless) in their lack of support of this wonderful person - who wants only to better himself in all aspects of the word - from a sense of accomplishment in a job he actually likes, to being financially stable and being compensated for what he is worth, to providing for his family in a career that brings him pride - well - you can SUCK IT.

Change is hard.  And I fully understand that when you've lived your entire life in one itty-bitty tiny corner of the world - change can be extremely hard.  But don't force your inability to change on my husband.  Don't force your weird almost-jealous thoughts of complete non-support on our family. 

Rather, smile.  Realize that change can be a good thing.  Congratulate him on wanting to do more - to be more - and for getting as far as he did with this opportunity.  Shouldn't there be some pride in knowing that he was the ONE candidate this company actively went after?  Encourage him (to quote from the genius marketing strategy of the armed forces) to be all that he can be

And if you don't like it?  SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE.  And for the sake of all that is good on this Earth, do NOT say stupid things like 'I told you so' or 'be thankful for what you have.'  Because that's just mean.

And realize, eventually, THE job that is meant for my husband will arise.  And we WILL relocate - should said job be out of the confines of this city (which I'm 99.9% certain it will.) 

In the meantime, please say a prayer for my spouse.  Because he is hurting.  In all the years I've known him - through thick and thin - through loss and job changes and numerous ups and downs - I've never seen him like he is now. 

I don't know how to help him.  So please pray. 

1 comment:

  1. i hate this for you guys!! i will be praying for you & D.