For Mom

Anna's ballet recital is tonight. I recorded this video last night during the dress rehearsal. I know - I'm fully an amature filmer - it's very wobbly and grainy, and very 'blair-witch-project-meets-ballet-recital-ish' but at least you'll get the idea of her performance. It's as close as I can come to having you sit next to me in the Koger Center - holding my hand as the stage lights come up.

I so wish you were here today mom. I wish you were here every day - but especially on days like this. Ballet was 'our thing.' I remember every performance you took me too. I remember every performance you slicked back my hair for, fully dousing you and I and anything else in close proximity with Aqua Net. I remember every performance you pain-stakingly applied my make up for.

I remember the smell of the flowers you gave me - and the feeling I carried for days after - that I really was a ballerina.

There are so many memories and thoughts tied up in today. It's Anna's turn to shine. It's her turn to have crusty slicked back hair and shimmery pink lipstick. It's her turn to receive flowers from her mommy and daddy. It's her turn to be the ballerina.

But I remember our special momemts mom - yours and mine - and I'll never forget. And I'll be thinking of you tonight as I sit in the theatre, watching my own little girl. And I know I'll be reaching for your hand.

Note: Anna is 4th from the left at the start of the video clip .....

Updated with pictures from the actual performance night - these were taken following the show when we presented her with flowers.... she did not want to cooperate and smile, nor did any of our children want to take a group family photo - but oh well - here we are - and here is life with three small kids....