Highs and Lows

Lows:
So Jack has some weird virus.  It started last week with a barking cough - which a trip to the pediatrician resulted in a diagnosis of croup and a prescription for an oral steroid.  He seemed fine other than the cough - we gave him the medicine - it definitely lessened the barking coughing - then Saturday he started with a nose-dive - including waking up from his nap in a stellar mood, not wanting to eat, a few random 'urps', and culminated in him falling down the stairs to the basement and landing on his head.

Yeah - that was a fun one to watch happen....

Late that night he threw up - a lot - which caused us to raise eyebrows - that whole concussion thing...  but he seemed fine.  Sunday he awoke with a fever that didn't seem to come down despite the Motrin we shoved down his throat.

Second trip to the pediatrician in three days resulted in a diagnosis of some sort of infection (possibly sinus?) and a prescription for an antibiotic.

Monday he was still feverish - despite three doses of antibiotic + Motrin.  In an effort to retain some credibility at work I stopped in to my office with Jack after dropping the two older kids off at their respective schools.  He just didn't seem right - kept moaning and complaining that his neck hurt (raising eyebrows about meningitis) - so I called the pediatrician office to talk to the nurse.

Along with every other mother in Columbia.  I was on hold for about 15 minutes - which is a long time with a feverish two-year old in your lap. 

Extreme Low:
While waiting for the nurse to answer - Jack wanted to get down and walk around my office - and kept acting so weird - and - well - he ended up barfing all over my office floor.  On the carpet.  With my boss just around the corner.  Awesome.  And at the same time, the nurse picks up - so I can't tend to the barf covered kid, nor the carpet which is rapidly absorbing the curdled milk that he just threw up.  Double Awesome.  (For the record, I made Deonne go back later in the day with carpet cleaner to address the remaining yuck-o that I wasn't able to properly address.)

Third trip to the pediatrician in four days resulted in a diagnosis of a virus.  Blood work showed his white count was below normal - 'viral supression' - whatever that meant - but ruled out a bacterial infection like meningitis.

So we get to let it run it's course. 

Four days later and I'm still home with him.  I'm sure I've lost any and all respect from my colleagues - who are sympathetic and understanding to the fact that I work and have three small kids - but at some point - that goes out the window.  If you can't do your job - you can't do your job - whether you have a good reason or not.

And therein is that age old struggle - and constantly feeling like you are never doing enough - either slacking at work so you can tend to your kid - or not being the mom you want to be so you can do your job. 

But back to Jack - he seems to be turning the corner - no fever - but is still not eating, is extremely moody and grumpy, and sleeping a lot.  So I'm not entirely sure he'll be back tomorrow. 

Highs:
Despite his vile mood at times, I have to admit that I've enjoyed this time with my boy.  Uninterrupted time to read stories, put together puzzles, lay with him in his bed and sing him to sleep, and receive the hugs and 'I luv you mama's' has been priceless. 

Jack has been by my side - and become completely attached - to the point that I actually heard him tell Deonne 'I don't want you - I want MAMA' - which I'm sorta ashamed to say - I liked hearing come out of his little mouth.

But all good things must come to an end - and I hope and pray he'll be better soon - so we can get back to our 'normal' life.