Oh, Come, Oh, Come, Emmanuel...

...And ransom captive Israel,

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel

Shall come to you, O Israel!

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I'm loving this time of year - how warm my kitchen is with the ovens burning as I make our holiday treats - the smells of gingerbread and melting chocolate - the delight in my children's eyes as they wait with anticipation for all hallowed Christmas Eve...

So why is it that I'm so melancholy???

The Second Sunday of Advent

We've been attending a different church in Columbia for the past, well, six months or so.  Our old church, while beautiful in architecture and full of lovely people, sort of stopped feeling like home to us.  And while it cause both of us a lot of angst to look for a new church home (because our whole married Christian life is tied to our old church -where we were married and our three children baptized) we knew we needed to find a place where we were welcomed as we are, a place where we could build memories as a family.

We've been pleased as punch with the parish we've been welcomed into.  The kids have looked forward to the Wednesday night programs and Sunday school activities all fall, and Deonne and I have enjoyed the adult Sunday school lessons, the people we're becoming friends with, and the witty sermons from the Rector - who is always able to bring the scripture into today's world (sometimes with a sarcastic sense of humor that I love.)

One of the programs we participated in as a family was to adopt a child during the Christmas season - a child who is in need of prayers and thoughts as much as the toys, pajamas, and clothes we purchased for him.  We involved the kids in most every step (except the shopping part - I know my limitations - and shopping with the Party Kids for toys might push me over the edge...)  They helped wrap the gifts, asking a zillion questions about Cameron, the 5-year old little boy we adopted.

And on the second Sunday of Advent, we delivered our packages to the church - Anna and James hauling the bag all the way up to the front altar.

The only 'issue' we had was James (of course) who was extremely (loudly) disappointed that he didn't get to meet little Cameron on person - he didn't quite understand the idea - and wanted to see the 'little boy open his presents.'

 Following church that day, we stopped at Forest Lake Gardens to pick out our tree - having learned the lesson that when it comes to live trees, it pays to purchase the tree from a place that keeps their trees in actual tree stands - you know, that hold water.  Too many years we cheaped out and bought inexpensive trees at places where they were not watered daily - only to have them drop all their needles shortly after coming inside.   

Of course, when we found the 'perfect' tree, we did realize that there was a big hole on one side of it with very sparse limbs.  No matter, we thought, we'll put that side toward the corner.  No big deal, right?  Wrong.  (See leaning tree post.) Turns out the weight of those missing limbs is important in balancing the tree - leading to our whole debacle.  

Anna and James had fun running and running and running around the trees.... which is fun for a kid - not so much for the parents who are concerned about them running into the parking lot or overturning the other plants and bushes in pots around the garden...



But it was a fun morning - and thankfully the weather cooperated and it was acutally COLD.  You'll never hear me complain about the cold weather we're having - and I loved every minute of bundling the kids up in winter coats to pick out our tree - just like I did as a kid in Washington State.

A Class Trip To The Zoo

Jack's little toddler pre-school class had it's first family outing - a trip to Riverbanks Zoo.  It was a cold, chilly day - but the kiddies had a great time howling with the monkeys, looking at the fishies in the aquarium, and riding around in their strollers (in the case for Jack and his bff Jasper.)

So much fun to see our little ones enjoying the company of each other!

Christmas 2010 - The Year of The Leaning Christmas Tree

I've come a long way.  There was a point in time when something like a Christmas tree that is clearly off kilter would bother me to the essence of my being.  I suppose because I'm just wired that way.  I've been described as anal, particular, uptight, and on more than one occasion, OCD. And I probably am.  I admit that I like things clean, put away, and in many cases 'just so.'

I think I may have watched too much Martha Stewart as a new bride.

But I've come a long way, oh yes, I have.

Three kids who can only be described as tornados of destruction have taken their toll, and I'm either worn down or fed up or very possibly just plain tired - I'm not entirely sure which.

So when it became clear late in the night that our Christmas tree was clearly leaning - and the only way to secure it from falling over was to either A) take the lights back off, take it outside, and let Deonne have his way with it with a chainsaw and a pair of pruning shears or B) turn it so the side with the gaping hole faced the corner, prop it up in the stand so it's secure, and pretend its not horribly leaning - I chose B.

In another lifetime - I would have chosen A.  I would have made Deonne trim and shave and prune the tree to perfection.

This year?  I'm just glad the stupid thing has lights on it and is finally decorated.  (It's been sitting in its stand - leaning - for the better part of the last week.)

I try to pretend it's really not that bad.  I arranged ornaments and the bow under the angel to make it appear it is straight - at least in one direction.

It's not working.

Anna stepped back after hanging the last crystal icicle and exclaimed "Mommy!  The tree is leaning!"

Yeah - but it's not going anywhere - so there.

So I've come a long way.  The tree is up.  It is trimmed.  The possibility does seem to exist that it may fall over at some point in the next few weeks.  And it lists terribly to the right.  But it's still a pretty tree.

Right?

'Tis The Season...

For Holiday mayhem.  Don't get me wrong - I love this time of year.  I love the hustle and bustle to decorate our home, bake goodies, shop for treats, wrap presents, plan outings, experience the things Columbia has to offer, see friends.

But beneath it all - we're trying very hard to keep the spirit of Christmas true to its meaning.

One way is through our nightly reading of the Advent Story Book.  It's a great book broken into 24 stories about a little bear on his journey to discover the true meaning of Christmas.  We read one page each night after we've read our other nightly stories, and talk to the kids about the meaning.  It's lovely, the kids look forward to it, and I do as well.

Another is through our nightly lighting of candles on our Advent wreath.  When we settle down to dinner we take time to light the candles on the wreath, bless our meal, and then read the daily scripture from the Prayers for Advent for Children pamphlet I picked up at church.  (Reality check - that sounds lovely and romantic and sweet, doesn't it?  It conjures up images of a family quietly gathered together around the table, bowing their heads in prayer and reflecting on the coming of the Christ child.  Yeah - most nights it really involves a lot of protesting to come to the table, whining about who gets to sit where, babbling about things Deonne and I think are inconsequential but have deep meaning to 6 and 3 year olds, shushing from us parents to keep quiet during the prayer, and arguing about who gets to blow out which candle.... but we try - and that's the important thing...)

Of course Happy (our elf) has made his appearance - which constantly strikes me as remarkable how a red felt clad elf can be such a positive behavior incentive....

And we've been enjoying the sights and sound of our town - last Saturday night I gave the kids an early dinner and bath, bundled them in the van with cuddly blankets, and took them to the drive-thru lights display at Saluda Shoals (Deonne was en route from his trip to Atlanta to see the Gamecocks unfortunately lose the SEC championship game - which was disappointing for him - but tempered by the t-total good time he had going with a friend who happened to provide tickets to all of the SEC staff events, including the swanky pre-game party where he rubbed elbows with high-rollin' SEC and BCS folks.)

We're hoping the cold snap lets up a bit this weekend so we can take the kids to Riverbanks Zoo to see the Lights Before Christmas, and Anna and I are gearing up for our annual mother-daughter afternoon to see the Nutcracker the following weekend.  This year we're going with some dear friends (grandmother, mother, and two daughters) so a true girls afternoon out.

And intermingled with the 'big' events, we've been busy making cookies (Anna and James helped me make Pecan Sandies after school yesterday- and had a big time rolling the balls of dough into little 'rainbow' shapes.  Jack helped too - until I discovered he was no longer rolling dough but rather stuffing it into his mouth.  He was promptly removed from the kitchen table...)

I've been woefully behind in taking proper pictures - and the few I have are still locked in the camera - so I hope in the next few days to snap some good shots and actually upload them here.

And maybe tonight we'll actually get some lights on the 7 foot Frasier Fir tree that has been standing in my living room since Sunday - and start decorating it.  (Which has been pushed back due to malfunctioning lights, fatigue, and my going out last night for a much needed and super fun moms-night with some of the other moms at Anna's school.) 

So 'tis the season ...  it truly is the 'most wonderful time of the year' ...

Tough Love

There's times when being a parent is so frustrating - and so hard.  There are times when you know what the right thing is to do as a parent - even though it is tough on everyone.

Yesterday was one of those days.  James and Anna both have been having a very hard time listening, obeying, and being respectful of others.  I'm not sure if it stems from the sibling rivalry that has descended on our house, the anticipation of Christmas, or just the barometric pressure - but truth be told - both of them spent the better part of their Thanksgiving holiday in time out.  Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration - but really, they were separated from each other quite a bit, and both did spend a significant amount of time 'thinking about what they had done.'

In addition to sparring with each other, they have been horrible about not listening to Deonne and I.  When we try to talk to them or direct them to a task - they either blatantly refuse, ignore, or do the complete polar opposite.

Which is frustrating in and of itself - but compounded when safety is a concern.  It may be one thing for James to ignore me and skip and run away in the backyard - but when he's headed down the driveway for the street - or away from me in the parking lot at school - then it's a whole other issue.  Patience runs thin. I get very upset and angry.  He listens even less.  Repeat cycle.

So far it's been limited to home - but yesterday surfaced in his preschool class.  The kids work hard to earn their symbol of a 'good' day at school by a colored bear system.  Green Bear - awesome day.  Yellow Bear - okay day.  Red Bear - horrible day.

I think if they had a Black Bear that James would have earned it yesterday.

The same old stuff he's been doing at home - not listening, disobeying, not following the rules, being unruly, talking out of turn - being a disrespectful turd.  Apparently he was SO bad that they had to take him to another teacher to administer a stern talking to.

So when I picked him up yesterday, I was very excited as we were off to the church Advent activity party for kids.  Dinner and crafts for children all centered around this season of expectation.  The kids had been looking forward to it all week (they'd been given handouts about it in their respective Sunday school classes), and truth be told I was as well.  Deonne and I had arranged for him to pick up Jack so I could spend some time with my older two without wrangling a 19 month old.

When I found out about his day - his teacher and I had a talk - and we were both of the opinion that he shouldn't get to participate in the Advent party.  Fun things like parties are rewards for good behavior.  But his little face fell when we talked to him about staying until Daddy could pick him up and not going to church just about broke both mine and his teacher's hearts.  And it was church, right?  How could I deny my child the opportunity to learn about the LORD?

So we talked, and negotiated, and decided that he could go to the Advent party - but in exchange, he was losing his family movie night on Friday.  Now, Friday Movie Night is a big deal for the Party kids - so to tell him he had to stay in his room while we all watched a movie was devastating to him.  However, we all agreed that if has Green Bear days both today (Thursday) and tomorrow (Friday) he could earn it back.

So.  Off we go to pick up Anna from her school and head to church.

In the car on the way there we talked at length about staying close to me - not running off - listening and obeying - as I could only imagine how crazy the Fellowship Hall would be with the entire congregation of children doing crafts at different stations.  I didn't want to risk losing track of him and having to chase him around in circles to obey.

He agreed wholeheartedly - that he would be a good boy and "obey right away without delay."

And then we arrived at Anna's school - and as soon as he was unbuckled from his seat - he was off and running away.  Down the sidewalk and into the school, long before I could ever reach him.  And upon entering the cafeteria, he started grabbing the pen parents use to sign their kids out from After Care, then running around the tables, digging in the cart of craft stuff, and NOT listening to a word I was saying.

Anna, thankfully, had a great day (she's been an angel at school - she has incentive.  She needs 10 days of Smiley Face Days in a row to get to go see that new movie Tangled.)  She happily put her homework away, picked up her coat, got in the car, buckled herself in and was excited as all get-out to go to the Advent party.

And then I had to make the call - I had to make the decision. 

We didn't go to church.  We missed the Advent party.  I just couldn't risk James' behavior being so awful, nor could I continue to reward his behavior. 

So we went home.

James went to his room (screaming and stomping the entire way up two flights of stairs.)  Anna was sad about not going (my little craft girl) but perked up when I told her she could watch a movie before dinner.

It would have been much easier to just let it slide - to let it go - and take him to church.  And that little voice in my head kept saying 'it's CHURCH - how can you deny them that?'

But the bigger voice told me I was doing the right thing.  Even though it was hard.  And it sucked.

This is one of those parts of parenting they don't tell you about in that "What to Expect" book we all read as pregnant mommies....

Research Help

I just participated in a survey for bloggers - please see note below.  After researching and writing my ridiculously large masters thesis - I'm all about helping others out with their research.  So, please take a moment and complete the survey to help this student out.

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"If you are a woman who writes a blog with content predominantly about her family, and you have 10-15 minutes to spare, we would love to hear from you! We are doing research on bloggers, and invite you to take a survey at www.surveymonkey.com/s/mommyblog Your participation will help one graduate student get one step closer to completing her thesis, and one step closer to graduation! Thank you for your input and for your time!"